A report released by the US Surgeon General finds that “…loneliness is more widespread than other major health issues in the U.S.” and that this epidemic of loneliness and isolation poses a serious public health concern. As Americans, we are more isolated than ever, and it’s killing us.
This may not come as a shock to many of us, who over the course of the past three years have been uniquely conscious of the distance and disconnect between ourselves and the people in our communities. But it is a pretty staggering thing to see the US Surgeon General identify loneliness as a public health concern. The report finds that social isolation can contribute to increased risk of heart disease, stroke, and dementia in older adults. This isn’t just something to be sad about but is a real risk to our community health.
This report ought to light a fire in the bellies of churches across the country, where social connection and community building continue to be among our most important values and skills. For generations churches and faith communities of all traditions have been beacons of social connection in the neighborhoods where they gather. It is faith communities who have so often gathered neighbors at the table for a shared meal, celebrated community with block parties, and connected children and youth with summer programming and outdoor ministry. This is an epidemic we are built to address.
As churches, we can often get stuck in patterns of non-profit culture that tells us our work only has value if it contributes to more dollars or more members. We plan programming and education in the hopes that we will gain members and relevance, and so survive for one more generation. But, as a colleague recently said to me, there is nothing less inviting than asking someone to come help us not die.
What we miss is that the value of our programming and our education, and our worship and fellowship, is to be found in the social connection and social capital that people find while taking part. The value is not in our favorite measurables, but in the quality of our connection.
While we all know that church can also be a source of profound social wounds and trauma, I continue to have faith in local congregations and their ability to be communities of belonging and deep and mutual relationships. It is telling that every time I ask church members what keeps them coming to their faith community, it is rarely programming, financial health, technological expertise, or numbers that are named. No, what gets named is the importance of community relationships, of knowing that there are people in the community who care about and connect with one another.
I wonder what might be possible if each of our congregations took this report from the US Surgeon General personally. Our communities are disconnected, and our neighbors isolated and lonely. We who have been set free in Jesus to be faithful neighbors can be witnesses and catalysts for deep and loving connection in the places where God has called us to live and worship. We can make it our task to bring healing and to confront this epidemic with the small, simple, and profound practices that create connection and social capital. We can remember that in Christ we belong to one another, and that we need one another to live well and to create healthy communities.
In his book “Community: The Structure of Belonging,” Peter Block writes,
“The social fabric of community is shaped by the idea that only when we are connected and care for the well-being of the whole is a civil and democratic society created. It is like the Bodhisattva belief that not one of us can enter Nirvana until all others have gone before us.”
Once we acknowledge that community well-being emerges from the depth of our relationships, we as the church can go out into the community armed with practices like table fellowship, deep listening and discernment, intercessory prayer, and mutual hospitality. We can seek out our neighbors, not in an effort to convert them or coerce them into becoming members, but to know and love them as they are. We can model what it looks like to give and receive hospitality in neighborhoods where neighbors rarely get to know one another with any depth.
The practice of community building is always particular to the unique places where people live and worship, but the consistent is a commitment to deep and mutual relationships, the building of trust and social capital. Every time we step out beyond our church walls, we can ask ourselves “Will this contribute to connection and relationships? Will this create trust between our neighbors and ourselves? Will this action, this practice, communicate to our neighbor that they are seen, known, and loved for who they are?” When we begin to ask questions like that in our community engagement, we just may begin to face the epidemic of loneliness facing our neighborhoods.
So, what might that look like for your community and congregation? What are the practices that will put you in contact and meaningful conversation with your neighbor? What will foster community building, trust building, and joy? What will help neighbors and congregants to truly know one another, and to celebrate the connections we have without any promise of return? Remember that these practices are not just nice things to do, and these questions not just nice things to ask, but according to the U.S. Surgeon General may just save lives.
Photo by Sasha Freemind on Unsplash
